“And they live happily ever after”.

Surely all of us have heard of this fairy tale phrase of perfect union and bliss. Most, if not all, yearn for it. Who doesn’t want to live happily ever after with their life partner?

Divorce is undoubtedly one of the most daunting, heart-breaking experiences in life. It takes sheer courage, strength and willpower to go through it, let alone initiate it. Events leading up to that ultimate decision to tear apart the partnership that both parties once swore to maintain “till death do us part”, are nothing less than traumatising, emotionally charged, physically draining and mentally exhausting.

The main purpose of this write up is for it to be an easy read on a general understanding of the divorce process in Singapore, what to expect generally in order to take that plunge in going through the divorce. However, this write up is not meant to provide a comprehensive law on divorce.

There are two different processes in divorce – uncontested divorce and contested divorce. What are they, you ask. Simply put, an uncontested (just a sophisticated word to basically mean agreed) divorce is one where both you and your spouse agree that the marriage has come to an end, and agree that divorce inevitable. Aside from both desiring to divorce, the two of you will have to decide and agree on how to deal with the jointly owned assets such as the matrimonial home, monies in bank account(s), etc, as well as your individual assets. Oh, and yes, CPF monies is part of the assets and so, is up for division. Speaking of assets division, eradication of this misconception is necessary – it is not 50-50 equal division unless exceptions apply.

If there are children involved, the issues of custody, care and control have to be agreed too. Furthermore, there is also the issue of maintenance (alimony, as some know this as) to be agreed as well.

So, with the divorce and the ancillaries (another sophisticated word that basically refer to the assets, children and maintenance) agreed to, what do you do? You file for a divorce under the uncontested divorce procedure.

What about the situation where you and your spouse just cannot see eye to eye, you cannot stand each other, you cannot even sit and have a proper discussion on the issue of divorce and ancillaries without going at each others’ throats? Or if your spouse does not agree to the divorce at all, can you still apply for it?

The answer is the contested divorce process.

“Contested” is the opposite of “uncontested”. Simply put, contest is to fight. In relation to divorce, this means that you and your spouse do not agree to the divorce, neither are the ancillaries agreed to.

In the course of a contested divorce process, mediation is an avenue for parties to try to resolve all issues, both the divorce and ancillaries. During mediation, parties discuss with the mediator on their respective issues. At the end of mediation, the goal is for parties to come to the middle and conclude the case. Mediation is an excellent tool for it saves a lot of time, legal fees as well as emotional, mental and physical distress. Parties are able to move on from the traumatic experience that is divorce. A heavy weight off the shoulders literally.

What happens if mediation is unsuccessful? Well, your case will move forward towards trial. This is an arduous, tedious path. The Family Court judge will decide on the outcome of the divorce and ancillaries. This will be where parties, through their lawyers, fight till the bitter end.

Getting married is easy, but getting a divorce is not only a hassle but draining, and sometimes much costlier than a wedding. Before you decide to embark on either the uncontested or contested divorce, there are preconditions that you will have to meet such as the 3 years’ bar and the mandatory parenting programme, amongst others.

Be it uncontested or contested divorce, or mediation, with the help of the right lawyer, your divorce journey will be as painless as possible, yet attain the best outcome. That is my aim and goal for my clients. Throughout my journey handling divorce cases over the years, I have helped my clients get through their divorce with as little grief and at the fastest possible speed of resolution. Testimonies from some of my gratified clients attest to this. For those who desire an amicable resolution of the divorce, I have had countless successful mediation sessions with desirable outcomes.

Engaging the right lawyer in helping you go through one of your life’s most challenging, exhausting and daunting events is essential for he or she will minimise your pain of going through the divorce process. In my humble opinion and through my experience in handling divorce cases and clients, empathy, friendliness, understanding, compassion, positive attitudes are some of the essential characteristics to helping and guiding you through this arduous divorce process. Throughout my career as a divorce lawyer, I have seen my clients broken from the prospects of divorce and its inevitable conclusion of their once happy marriage, but successfully walked the entire divorce process with me, with their hands held throughout the journey.

Let me and my team help you walk towards the light at the end of the tunnel, and victory.